Wednesday, May 27, 2009


I have a crop circle on the back of my thigh!!..I saw it tonight as I was applying moisturizer after a much needed pre-mentrual soak. I shouldn't be that shocked, afterall I'm not immune to cellulite, not like my 67 yr old mother or 43 yr old sister. I've had it my entire life. I'd blame it on my Nana who had tons of it, but I don't think it's fair to blame someone who can't defend themselves.

I grew up on the chunky side, slimmed myself down (by "slimmed" I mean healthy..not "slim by Lindsay Lohan standards") in college and stayed that way. Then I had kids and went back to work full time, not that kids and work is an excuse. It isn't. When I was on maternity leave after my second I was actually in the best shape of my life. Then, I don't know what happened...maybe it's just life, maybe it's being really close to my 40th birthday, maybe (and here is the one I'm banking on) its been stress. It's not that I'm really overweight. I'm still considered healthy, just on the heavier side of healthy, but I don't feel comfortable and that's the key. I don't have unrealistic goals regarding my size..just 10-15 lbs and I'll be happy.

But, where the hell did the crop circle come from? and the bruises that are appearing out of nowhere? and the knee pain?..where did the aching knee pain come from?..(well, come to think of it Nana had bad knees too...) When did all of this happen? I watch my kids move, how my son can squat right down to the ground and up again without even thinking about it. I can't ever remember being able to do that.

I want to do that again. Perferably without ending up on crutches.

BTW, where the hell is spell check on this thing?


  1. I'm 41.

    I'm going to have to write a whole post about how great the 40s actually are for you soon.

    I lose my mind now when I see kids do things that I KNOW is going to result in back damage later in life.

    I will actually say, "Ouch..." out loud whenever I witness that...because I KNOW what's going to happen to them.

    There's nothing you can even say about it, because no one would listen anyway even if you did - everyone has to learn the hard way.

    That's the pay off for your 40s being the most liberating time, I think.

  2. yes, there are many things i can no longer do. just trying to stay out of pain is my main goal at this point~